Parents don’t seem to realize how much of an impact moving to a new school has on the child, physically and emotionally. Being the “new kid” in school has proved to be one of the most difficult things a student has to overcome, being that students are so judgmental and tend to shut new students out. Students view you as the strange kid, not willing to open up and actually get to know you, but remaining with their old friends for 10 years.
Of course, not every kid has to face this nerve wracking experience, but for those who are not so lucky, entering a new place where everyone leaves you out can be one of the most traumatic experiences. My experience in school over the past 11 years have exposed the true struggles of being the “new kid” in just about every grade. My family has constantly moved from state to state to this current day, I have attended about 8 different schools in 5 different states since preschool.
The first day of school had to be the scariest part of all, the day that you were exposed to new faces you have never seen before in your life, and are forced to socialize regardless of whether you are compatible or not. For every first day in a new school, I would always get the same advice from my mother: “just be yourself and everyone will love you.” That, of course, is much easier said than done. You take a deep breath and walk into your new school, with a positive mindset. You look around as you hear the whispers, trying to ignore them while wondering what your classmates have already said about you. You get through the day fairly well, socializing with the few people that are willing to get to know you. Then comes the most nerve wracking part of all, lunch. Who do you sit with when you have absolutely no one? You get your lunch and wander around until you have found a somewhat decent spot and sit all by yourself. As time goes by, you begin to make more friends and become more social, and before you know it, you are no longer the new kid. Just when everything is going well, your parents come with news: you are moving to a new place, once again. Everything you have developed in your new life is thrown away and you are forced to start from zero, once again.
What parents don’t realize is how difficult this is for the child, having such an unstable environment where you are constantly removed from your current life. Just when you think you are finally settled in and happy, you are forced out of your life, once again. What people don’t realize is that students tend to shut the new kids out, making them feel like they don’t belong even if it isn’t intentional. Parents don’t realize how difficult it truly is to enter a new place and try to fit in with everyone else. It is much simpler to fit in when you are young, due to the fact that little kids are much more open to making new friends. However, high school is a completely different world. Students are much more judgmental as they are much older. The constant moving is what shapes a child’s personality. People also seem to not acknowledge that these extreme changes can affect a child’s mental stability tremendously. A child may start to isolate themselves, and develop psychological disorders. Not every child may get to that extreme, but many children are bound to develop traits that may eventually affect them. Researchers have found that the more times people moved as children, the more likely they were to report lower life satisfaction.
However, from the parent’s perspective, they always want what is best for their child, not realizing that moving is actually a huge burden to the child. In my case, my mother would always tell me that moving would bring new opportunities for me. Although that may be true, it does not make anything easier. Parents do say it with good intentions but do not acknowledge the difficulty kids have to believe it to be true. Parents always think their kid will have an advantage in constantly moving, due to the fact that they will develop positive character traits such as being flexible in new environments and not having difficulty to socialize. That may be true for many students in the long term effect. However, researchers have proved that the constant moving will actually cause the child to become more isolated and less extroverted. For example, my family’s constant moving made me become extremely timid as a child.
Overall, parents should be more conscious of the effects constant moving would have on their child before making such a large decision. Although they want what is best for their child, they need to really ask their kid how they would actually feel about the move. It’s important for everyone to input their opinion on the move so the child does not feel helpless and lost.
