There’s nothing as heartbreaking as being gay on the holidays with a homophobic family. A time for celebration and merrymaking has turned into a time for hiding who you are. It’s difficult and distressing.
However, here are some tips to make this time a little easier.
Surround yourself with friends. The holidays don’t need to be a time where you surround yourself in family. They can be a time where you get together with friends and have fun. If you have a big family dinner one day, go out with your friends the day before. Go get dinner with them, or go to the mall, or just hang out. It’ll make you less stressed about the dinner and the certainty of the homophobia you’ll face. Overall, hanging out with sympathetic friends is a good idea.
Talk to a trusted adult. Talking to an adult you trust before going on the winter break should help. You can talk about what you’re expecting and what you’re scared about. An adult will likely give you better advice than a friend of yours. Your friends sometimes will have a bias on what you should due because they’re your friend. Adults are less likely to have that bias.
Stay safe. Your safety is the most important thing during the holidays. Don’t get into an argument with a family member that you know could get violent.
Remember that you’re a wonderful person. Even though you’re going home to a family that doesn’t appreciate you, it doesn’t mean that you’re not wonderful. You are brave, you are strong, don’t forget that. Even when grandma starts talking about ‘the gays’, just remember that you’re you, and that’s a beautiful thing.
Some of your relatives might just be uneducated. If you feel like it’s safe- talk to them. Ask them why they believe the things they do. If they want to be educated, they’ll listen to what you have to say. There’s nothing you can do if your relatives are just closed-minded, however. Some people won’t accept changes to conventional social norms, and there’s nothing you can do about that.
Don’t let your relatives get to you. Holidays are a time for happiness and celebration. Don’t let your relatives beliefs ruin that for you. Spend more time with people that make you happy than those that don’t.
