Every year, millions of Americans gather around a bunch of foldable tables with festive table cloths over to celebrate Thanksgiving. And every year, we eat the exact same food: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing. Cranberry sauce that looks like it just slid out of a can and kept its shape. But is this classic feast starting to feel… a little old?
Let’s be honest: Thanksgiving food might be tasty, but it’s also kind of stuck in the past. Turkey has been the star of the show since the 1600s. And turkey is fine, but it’s not that impressive. Half the time it’s dry enough to require three gallons of gravy just to swallow it. If it takes that much effort to make a food edible, maybe it needs a break.
Then there’s stuffing. Think about it—we take bread (which is already cooked perfectly), then we soak it, smash it, cram it inside a turkey, and cook it again. It’s basically bread that’s been through emotional trauma. Yet somehow, we still pretend it’s normal. Although it is my personal favorite
Mashed potatoes, on the other hand, are probably safe from being outdated. Potatoes are the superheroes of food. You can mash them, fry them, roast them, bake them, turn them into smiley faces… honestly, potatoes are carrying Thanksgiving on their backs. Mash potatoes keep the top spot on most peoples plates every year.
Mac and cheese is in the same boat (or should I say plate) as mash potatoes. They are top tier and deserve to be on everyone’s plate. It’s hard to mess up Mac and cheese, unless you’re trying to bake it and somehow burn it, it will always be up there with mash potatoes.
But cranberry sauce? That’s where things get suspicious. Most people don’t even eat cranberries the other 364 days of the year. And on Thanksgiving, we open a can, dump it onto a plate, and act like it’s a dessert. Why does it make that weird wet ploppy noise when it comes out? Why can you still see the lines from the can? That can’t be normal.
So maybe it’s time to update Thanksgiving. Modernize it. Give it a glow-up. Imagine a Thanksgiving table with foods people actually get excited about. Pizza shaped like a turkey. Chicken nuggets shaped like autumn leaves. Maybe even tacos. Who wouldn’t want a Thanksgiving taco?
And dessert? Instead of pumpkin pie, maybe we could try churros, ice cream sundaes, or a giant cookie the size of a dinner plate. If we’re giving thanks, shouldn’t we be thanking foods we actually love — not foods that taste like vegetables pretending to be dessert?
But before we cancel turkey forever, here’s the truth: even if Thanksgiving food is old-fashioned, that might be part of its charm. These dishes remind us of family, tradition, and being together. Even if cranberry sauce is a weird maroon cylinder, it’s our weird maroon cylinder.
So is Thanksgiving food outdated? Maybe a little. But is it going anywhere? Probably not. And honestly, that’s okay. Because even if we complain about the turkey being dry or the stuffing being confusing, we still show up, load our plates, and eat a mountain of it anyway.
Just maybe… next year someone can bring tacos. For science.
