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The student news site of Colonia High School

The Declaration

The student news site of Colonia High School

The Declaration

Biri Bombarded by Pie

Photo Credit: Stephanie Polonis
The aftermath of Mr. Biri getting pied in the face

March Madness: A single basketball game held annually. This year held on March 26th, the fun and friendly game was taken to a whole new level. The court became a battlefield plastered with pie.

During halftime of this year’s game, a new tradition was started: students of CHS were able to vote for a teacher to get pied. During the week, Friday, Monday and Tuesday, students of all grades were able to vote during lunches by putting their extra change into a teacher’s designated box. Then, the top five teachers, who raised the most money, were to await their fate until halftime.

The ten teachers who volunteered to get pied were Mr. Long, Mr. Christathankis, Mr. LaSala, Mr. Biri, Mrs. Chen, Mrs. Sheehan, Mr. Tufts, Mrs. Greffer, Mr. Cerchio, and Mr. Chandler. The volunteers were then narrowed down to five: Mr. Long, Mr. LaSala, Mr. Biri, Mrs. Chen, and Mr. Chandler.

During the first half of March Madness, spectators were able to put all last minute change into designed boxes for each member; the boxes were located in the lobby.

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However, there was a rumor that Mr. LaSala had tried to cheat. Multiple sources saw LaSala remove all of the dollar bills and coins from his box and throw them into Biri’s box. A couple girls from the basketball team then removed the change in Biri’s box and moved it back to LaSala’s when he was not looking.

But, cheating once was not enough for LaSala. He went back into the lobby and switched all of his money back into Biri’s box, yet again. He then figured that he would just remove his box completely and took it into his office. It is unclear whether LaSala’s box ever made it back into the lobby for voting. Biri said that he would, “not put it past LaSala,” to pull such antics.

When LaSala was confronted about this rumor, all his explanation was simple, “It is not true whatsoever. I plead the fifth.”

After all of the money was counted, it was time for the pie. The finalists were lined up in the center of the court and told to put googles on. Christine Kim, senior, then stood behind the faculty holding what looked like, a whipped cream pie, and the crowd went wild. On the count of three, Kim reached over and smacked Biri right in the face.

Since the faculty extended their winning streak, and now have a 3peat, it was the seniors way to get their revenge by pieing the faculty’s star player.  While the crowd was unclear what type of pie was smashed, Biri did not have an answer either. He explained, “[I] did not taste it because I do not eat unhealthy food and I gave up deserts for lent.”

When asked about how he felt about the ordeal, Biri had to this explain, “From what students were saying, I thought the only real competition was between LaSala and I.” When questioned on why he thought he was the chosen one for the pie he exclaimed that “Because of my hair, appearance, and personality. Students love to hate me.”

All of the money that was raised was given to Biri’s History Honor Society in order to fund their trip to Washington D.C.

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About the Contributors
Triana Powers
Triana Powers, Spring Reporter & Editor
Triana Powers is currently a senior at Colonia. Power is a Journalism 2 student who enjoys writing Opeds, reviews, and straight news. In her free time, Powers works on costumes for all the school plays as part of the CHS Student Production Staff. When she is not slaving over her keyboard or sewing needle, she can be found working at Target. Powers works as a Starbucks barista, guest service, and as a cashier. Powers enjoys long walks on the beach, coffee, and the color glitter.
Michael Albanese
Michael Albanese, Fall Editior & Public Relations Manager
Michael Albanese is a senior at Colonia High School, and he has been a resident of Colonia, NJ his entire life. He enjoys secular courses like history and reading/writing, rather than math classes and is interested in sociopolitical culture. Albanese likes to write about society and entertainment and hopes to make a career in media. Michael enjoys travelling, and there are few places he wouldn’t want to visit. The internet and social media are a big part of Albanese's life, but he also enjoys time spent with family and friends.
Stephanie Polonis
Stephanie Polonis, Reporter & Editor
Stephanie Polonis is a senior at Colonia High School.  She loves writing in school and on her free time. Her favorite hobbies are dancing, and hanging out with her boyfriend.  Polonis’s plan when she grows up is to become a Cosmetologist.

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Biri Bombarded by Pie