How “pick-me” girls pose a teenage social threat

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Sofia Sokolow

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Another term for “not like other girls” has become “pick me girls.” The term “pick me girls” emerged on TikTok in 2021.

If you’ve met a woman who makes it clear that they’re not like ‘other” girls, or even better than them just for attention, validation, acceptance or approval. Sorry to break it to you, but you ran into a “pick-me girl.”

What is a pick-me and how did it become

A pick-me girl stands out from other women by embracing activities, interests, and routines that are typically enjoyed by heterosexual, cisgender men. Pick-me girls reject socially correlated conception of femininity.

Basically, a pick-me girl’s primary objective is to grab attention of the men in her circle by bringing up every reason by which she stands apart from other girls and “classic” female interests. They focus on activities and opinions that are portrayed as “masculine,” despite whether or not they actually prefer them.

This cliche specifically arose in rom-coms from the early 2000s, when female protagonists frequently ridicule their rivals who were more “girly” or “boy-obsessed.” Because she is unaware of her femininity, the love interest in these stories typically begins to fall for her, which makes her “different”, therefore more appealing.

The problem

But the problem is that on social media, the meaning of “pick me” behavior is changing. Which got going as an honest and frequently entertaining pattern that obligated people who may be prone toward ‘pick me’ habits has hit a downward spiral.

When some women have legitimately used the “pick-me girl” trend to criticize other women’s sexist behavior. Currently, it is mostly used as an additional weapon against women. Others have only used it to spread sexism and harass women on the app. It has become the most common insult, used against women for the smallest of reasons, when pick-me-girls in their fullest form, at least after a certain age, are rare.

We may all know someone who likes to make the “pick me” comment. Most girls grow out of being a “pick me girl” when they realize that men aren’t worth much. By your late 20s, especially in today’s dating scene.

It’s common for women to remember all the ways they craved male attention as children. And end up finding it embarrassing. Women are being criticized for not living up to contradictory ideals in their quest to win over men or assert their femininity.

All this is because of the #pickmegirl movement. Accountability us held by women when it comes to thus atmosphere fostered by misogynistic ideologies. Pick me girls shame other women for wanting attention from men. While other women shame pick me girls for doing things they would never shame men for.

Despite the fact that both sides contribute to male entitlement. No one seems to hold the guys responsible for this TikTok war’s encouragement and promotion.

How to avoid becoming one

Although you might long for male validation and seek attention from peers. It’s best to be genuine. Stop trying to be someone you’re not because you want someone to notice you.