The facts behind cheating – why do people cheat?

The facts behind cheating - why do people cheat?

By: Rebecca Melton, Spring Editor & Reporter

Cheating is a terrible truth that many people face. Disloyalty runs rampant through many relationships for many different reasons. There are numerous questions behind this phenomenon- why, who, when?

This article will attempt to answer all these questions. If you’ve been cheated on, these questions never really go away. You want to know why you were cheated on, who you were cheated on with, when were you cheated on. All these questions will remain, even if you do get the answers. To be cheated on is heartbreaking, and can even be traumatic. It takes a long time for many people who are cheated on to willingly walk back into relationships. 

On the flip side, people who cheat typically have their reasons. People cheat for a variety of reasons and aren’t always doing it out of malicious intent. These people could be craving attention, or they could be lacking the intimacy they want in their relationships. This does not change the fact that their misdeeds hurt other people, however.

The Declaration recently polled various sources about their thoughts and feelings on cheating. A light will be shone on these answers, while facts while be used to credit the opinions.

56% of those polled have been cheated on, while only 32% of respondents have cheated on someone else. More than half of respondents have been cheated on, and that says something about how rampant it runs in relationships. People are constantly getting cheated on, but no one really knows for sure why they’re getting cheated on.

Respondents were asked why they believed that people cheat. The majority believed that those that cheat wanted more attention from their significant other. Because of this want for more attention, they sought out other people to get attention from. People that weren’t their significant other. This mentality comes with the passive aggressive thought of, ‘If you aren’t going to give me attention, I’ll find someone else that will.’

There are also many other reasons people cheat. People could be unhappy with their relationship, but they’re unwilling to be confrontational about it. Some people are simply looking for a way out of their current relationship, so they find other people. This non-confrontational behavior leaves both sides wounded, however.

Another reason that people cheat can be that the culture of cheating- otherwise known as side chick/dude culture. There’s a large mass of people who believe cheating is not only acceptable, but cool. This culture takes pride in cheating and having as many significant other’s as possible. They have one ‘main’ significant other, but a variety of people on the ‘side’. This subculture of people makes the idea of cheating almost seem like a joke and hurts everyone involved.

However, different people cheat for different reasons. There’s not just one specific reason everyone cheats for, and the only real way to figure out why one has been cheated on is to talk to the cheater. This is not recommended because talking to this person can cause more problems and hurt both sides. It’s the same reason people don’t really talk to their exes about their prior relationship.

That sums up the major reasons as to why people cheat, but it leaves one question unanswered. How do people get over being cheated on? Being cheated on is tough; it can completely break one’s trust with relationships. It’ll take a while to move on, and it’ll take even longer to completely accept that it happened. It is possible to move on and move forward, though.

One thing to do to move on is talking about your feelings truthfully with someone you trust. The problem most people face when they’re cheated on is that they bottle up their feelings. They don’t let anyone know how hurt and broken they feel, and they let it build up. This is an unhealthy coping mechanism, and it genuinely helps to just talk to people about how you’re feeling. Your friends care about you and most likely want to know how you’re doing.

You also need to accept the past. You don’t necessarily have to like the past, but it’s important to accept it. Nothing can change the past and nothing can change the fact that your significant other cheated on you. However, you can change your future by preventing yourself from dwelling in the past. It’s important to acknowledge what happened and to acknowledge that you can’t change it. In short, move on. It’s hard to move on and accept that you’ve been cheated on, but the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do.

There are some warning signs as to whether or not your partner is cheating. If your partner:

  1. Suddenly changes their appearance
  2. Evasively answers questions
  3. Has a sudden lack of interest in intimacy
  4. Has unpredictable mood swings
  5. Portrays secretive behavior

then they might be cheating on you. It’s important to talk to your partner before jumping to conclusions, though. If you think you’re being cheated on, the easiest way to find out is to speak to your significant other. A relationship is built on trust, and if you don’t trust your significant other, you shouldn’t be with them.

Altogether, cheating is an awful thing and hurts a lot of relationships. It’s hard to move on from being cheated on. But it’s important that you move on as healthily as possible.

For more information, follow this link to an infographic made by The Declaration Staff.